Case Study: ‘I couldn’t believe what my son was arrested for’
The day my son was arrested was devastating. I couldn’t believe what was happening. He had never been involved in the criminal justice system before, and neither had I. I never thought something like this would happen to us. I was overwhelmed and scared. It all felt like a bad dream, especially when I found out that he had been charged with a sexual offence…
I raised my son and his sister by myself; we have always been so close. This news didn’t match up with the person I knew at all. I was in complete shock and disbelief.
At court a little while later, we found out more details about what he was on trial for. It was like a second devastation. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and I felt like I was to blame for it all. There was a lot of backlash from the press and from people in the local community. My relationships with lots of my friends and family broke down, and I was scared to even go to the shops for fear of how I would be treated. My daughter and I didn’t know how to talk to each other about what had happened. She said that she didn’t want any contact with her brother. I didn’t know what to do – I felt caught between my two children. I was so isolated and alone.
And then he went to prison… I found the prison processes really hard to navigate at first and often felt overwhelmed when visiting. I still hadn’t really come to terms with what was happening, and I was frustrated, angry and confused.
Although I was upset with my son for what had happened, I still missed him. I was frightened of what might happen to him, considering what he was convicted of. I was worried he would be a target – that he would get hurt, and I wouldn’t be able to do anything to stop it. I’m his mum: I’m supposed to keep him safe. All the pressures started to weigh down on me more and more. My mental health began to spiral. I felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
That was when I found Families Outside… Not only did they help me navigate the prison processes, but they also offered me someone to talk who could really understand what I was going through and who wouldn’t judge. They helped me to see that I was not to blame for my son’s actions. They helped me rebuild my self-esteem and gave me the confidence to face daily life again.
I wouldn’t have got through this without the support of Families Outside. I would be lost without them. Through speaking to them, I was able to find the resilience to see life beyond the darkest days of this experience and come out on the other side as a stronger person.
Families Outside is the only national charity that works solely on behalf of families in Scotland affected by imprisonment. If you are in need of support, please reach out to our non-judgemental Support & Information Helpline.