Honouring Loved Ones: Families United in Remembrance
Written by a family member.
I recently attended a special memorial service organised by Families Outside, in collaboration with Absent Friends, a support organisation dedicated to helping people in Scotland remember their departed loved ones. Taking place on Saturday, 4 November 2023, this heartfelt gathering provided a poignant opportunity for families who have lost someone to custody to come together, share their stories, and remember their loved ones.
The event, carefully orchestrated by Families Outside, aimed not only to memorialise but also to acknowledge the unique challenges that families facing such losses often grapple with in isolation. Held from 11 am to 2 pm, the day offered both in-person and online participation, ensuring accessibility while recognising the sensitivity of the grief experienced by the families.
Absent Friends provided funding for the event, supporting Families Outside—an organisation that works with families dealing with the complexities of imprisonment, stigma, and the distinctive challenges associated with such losses. This collaboration empowered families to find strength in unity.
The memorial service began with informal introductions and chats over tea and biscuits, creating a warm and supportive atmosphere. Participants then transitioned to a light lunch, providing a moment for everyone to deepen connections and find comfort in the company of those who truly understood the depth of their grief.
After lunch, the gathering continued with a heartfelt sharing session, where participants expressed their grief through personal items like photographs, clothing, or mementos. This inclusive approach allowed everyone to share memories without judgment, fostering an atmosphere of support, understanding, and positive recollections.
Families Outside encouraged attendees to bring items that reminded them of their loved ones, sparking conversations about their interests and shared memories. This facilitated connections among individuals who understood the profound impact of losing someone in custody.
Reflecting on the memorial service and remembrance day, there is a renewed sense of collective strength. It was not just about remembering the past; it was about coming together, supporting one another, and advocating for positive change. Through the unity and resilience of families facing similar challenges, there is hope for a future where the impact of custody is lessened, and the memory of loved ones becomes a catalyst for meaningful reform. The journey continues, but together, these families find strength in shared grief and a determination to make a difference.
Additionally, it’s important to note that for mothers attending, the day carried an extra layer of difficulty, navigating through the unique challenges they face in the aftermath of losing a loved one to custody. Their strength and resilience in participating in such an emotionally charged event further underscore the importance of these gatherings as a source of support and understanding.
This event came in the lead up to the two-year anniversary of the recommendations of the Independent Review of the Response to Deaths in Prison Custody on 30 November 2021. Families commented on their disappointment at lack of progress in implementing recommendations on deaths in prison custody…
Families express their disappointment at the lack of meaningful progress to implement vital recommendations addressing Deaths in Prison Custody, marking the two-year anniversary since the publication of the independent Death in Custody Review on 30 November 2021. The key recommendation, along with 19 further recommendations and six advisory points, were all accepted in principle by the Scottish Government.
Despite the acceptance of these recommendations in principle, families lament the apparent lack of substantial steps taken to address the issues surrounding deaths in prison custody.
The disappointment is palpable as the anniversary underscores the urgency of implementing changes to ensure thorough and independent investigations into every death in custody in Scotland.
As families continue to navigate the complexities of grief and loss, they call for a more concerted effort to turn these accepted recommendations into tangible actions. The lack of progress serves as a stark reminder of the ongoing challenges faced by families affected by deaths in prison custody, emphasising the need for sustained advocacy and reform in the pursuit of justice.
If you have been impacted by the bereavement of a loved one whilst in custody and need support, please get in touch with our Support & Information Helpline.